Well, it is January. Last post was July. Well!!
Here's to New Years Resolutions. Or perhaps,... no promises this year.
The Roaring 20's start out with a purr.
It is a time of getting back to a routine. Finding my will to add to my journey through these colored pages.
The year that was...not productive. Sure it trudged along with a hobble, no skipping or jumping, the two things I love to do (because skipping and jumping are all a part of running). This is a new year. I am working on the hop. I see progress. My progress, so far, sees some kind of light at the end of the tunnel. I see trail running by Spring, in my future. The depths of darkness and finding my new normal was not as exciting as one would expect when dealing with a curve in the road. The broken leg did something to my psyche. Confidence in who I was, what I could contribute, wavered. My body let me down. I could not trust it any longer. A new discipline of courage and mindset emerges.
I've become a couch potato athlete/artist. Reading about others triumphs, overcoming obstacles, anyone can "do it" attitude. It is always easy to begin tomorrow. Start when the weather is beautiful, when conditions are just right. But when the pain sets in and the comfort goes away, the mind takes over. It tells you it is impossible. It tells you "what is the point"? It tells you to be thankful for your comfort. But there is something that tells you there is more to life than being a couch potato and you deserve to take it easy.
Resolve. There is no feeling good about yourself when you have no resolve. No reasoning behind why you exist on this earth. It is easier to wrap yourself up and read about others journeys and wish you had the resolve to follow your own.
I have lost my discipline over the past year. My hope is to get it back. Regain the trust in myself once again. Find a mindset that slowly brings me back to where I want to be once again. It is not easy. Life is not easy, but it really should be enjoyable. There has to be some balance between enjoyment and pain. Small steps lead to enormous gains. I have done it before. I know how much work it takes. But in the long run it is so much more enjoyable than sitting on the couch, stewing in the negativity that permeates the mind.
So cheers to the roaring 20's. May it be filled with triumphs, breakthroughs, and the comfort of knowing you can get through the pain of physical and mental downturns. Get to the other side of trust. Being confident in one's own being.